NFL Owners Target Eagles’ Unsafe Successes: Blocked Kicks, Step-Overs, and Large Comebacks on Ban Block

Satire and spoof spawned several unnamed NFL franchises to file proposals Thursday with the league to outlaw blocked field goals at next year’s owners meetings, sources told Heavy, after the Philadelphia Eagles stuffed two Rams’ kicks in the fourth quarter of last Sunday’s epic 33-26 comeback win. The argument being floated to the competition committee? You guessed it – safety.

One executive who asked to remain amonomous claims the left side of the kicking formation is “unprotected and vulnerable to sudden impact,” while another raised concerns about “potential lower-body injuries since some of the kicking team linemen have been deemed vulnerable to ‘decleation’ by much bigger opponents.” Others cited the mental toll the snuffed kicks have on place-kickers. “We’re talking about bruised egos, shattered confidence, and potential careers derailed by humiliation,” one GM said.

BubbaChuck Ban?

The movement hasn’t stopped there. A.J. Brown’s Allen Iverson-style step-over, where he caught a critical fourth quarter, third down pass and stepped over Rams cornerback Darious Williams (who was actually a teammate of Jarrian Jones, the guy that Saquon Barkley famously leaped over backwards last year against Jacksonville) like he was Tyronn Lue in the 2001 NBA Finals, and scampered his way for 15 more yards, has reportedly been brought up in closed-door conversations. Critics say Brown’s copy-cat move is “condescending and aesthetically damaging” and “unsafe for the dignity of cornerbacks” specifically citing mental health concerns for it’s players. NFL rules analyst Dean Blandino was even quoted as saying, “We can’t have receivers Iverson-ing defenseless, Rageddy Ann-like defensive backs. It’s impossible to officiate dignity.” Williams was sent to Jefferson Hospital overnight for observation Sunday when rumors began circulating after the game that Brown and his move is the current front-runner for the cover of Madden – 27 next year.

Oh Mercy

Then there’s Philadelphia’s 19-point comeback, their second largest comeback in franchise history. Multiple sources indicated owners are grumbling that such swings create “unsafe stress levels” for opposing fans, including dangerous spikes in blood pressure, cortisol swings, aerterial fribulation, and, in some cases, long-term trust issues with their own franchises. One league figure even suggested second half deficits of 17 points or more to be “automatically capped” in the name of competitive balance and in the spirit of the mercy rule.

The reasoning is predictable – call it unsafe, call it ugly, call it impossible to officiate, whether it’s blocked kicks, Iverson flashbacks, or miracle comebacks, the agenda always seems to be the same – safety first and stopping the Eagles from finding ways to win football games a close second.

Leaked Proposals Under Consideration

Article 12.4: Any blocked field goal attempt by Philadelphia shall be ruled a dead ball and the kicking team shall be granted an untimed do-over.
Article 15.7: Wide receivers may not step over fallen defenders they just posterized, but rather daintily step around them – known informally as the “Tyronn Lue Rule.”
Article 19.3: Second half deficits of more than 17 points shall be suspended pending medical reviews, potentially epic bad beats, and long-term franchise betrayal issues.
Article 24.0: Any play the Eagles execute successfully for two consecutive weeks will be automatically reviewed for safety concerns, aesthetic appeal and officiating level of difficulty.

Tayler Scott stuns MLB world, free agent after Astros exit hints Red Sox reunion

Tayler Scott Stuns MLB World with Free Agency Move, Potential Red Sox Reunion Looms

The baseball landscape is buzzing with unexpected moves, and none more surprising than Tayler Scott’s decision to enter free agency after parting ways with the Houston Astros. This development opens the door for a potential reunion with the Boston Red Sox, where Scott previously showcased his talents.

A Familiar Face in the Bullpen

Scott’s journey in Major League Baseball has seen him don the Red Sox uniform, and his availability could be a boon for Boston’s bullpen. The Red Sox boasted one of the elite bullpens in the league last season, finishing with a commendable 3.41 ERA among relievers, a mark that led the American League.

While the team has made significant strides, a glaring need remains for reliable right-handed options beyond their standout setup man, Garrett Whitlock. The offseason is still young, and as the Red Sox look to bolster their roster, Scott emerges as an intriguing candidate—especially if they consider a minor-league deal as a cost-effective way to strengthen their bullpen.

Scott’s Departure from Houston

Tayler Scott’s exit from the Astros comes as a shock to many. After joining Houston, he had hoped to carve out a niche within one of the most competitive lineups in the league. However, the decision to seek free agency suggests that he is ready to explore new opportunities and potentially rekindle his relationship with the Red Sox.

Looking Ahead

As the Red Sox navigate the complexities of the offseason, the prospect of adding Scott could provide both depth and experience to their pitching staff. The combination of his familiarity with the organization and the potential for growth might be the perfect fit for a team looking to maintain its competitive edge in the American League.

The coming weeks will reveal whether Scott finds his way back to Fenway Park, but for now, the MLB world watches eagerly as the offseason unfolds.